21 days of new.....

[interzone]

Yeah, yeah. Yesterday I was being a butt head and it carried into today. O-well. It's cause what I'm trying to do is create a new pathway in my mind. 12 days ago I decided I needed to change the way I was thinking and so I knew that it takes 20 days or whatever to do this. How I choose to go about it was to do something new everyday. Yesterday I decided to pick a fight, probably not the smartest choice, but hey, I'm learning from it and it's kinda weird because I've already started to do new things sometimes without trying. Yesterday I hadn't found that new thing to do until Carnage said what he did on "Rides". I figured ehh, why not, he likes to torment, why not torment myself. For the most part this has been a positive thing that I've been doing. (the whole 1st thing)

I do realize though, that taking this course around theAcre had a negative impact on me. I'm into learning and now I learned some things by doing this. I suppose for the rest of my duration, I'll try to stick to more positive things. Today I'm gonna walk up to some random chick that I've never met and simply ask her out on a date. (I do expect a no, but once again, I'm trying to start a new way of thinking.) Over the last 16 months life has been crap in a toilet and I'm tired of feeling the negativity of it all. I knew that something in my life had to change and I know change starts with a persons thinking. I never felt that this experiment of mine was gonna go perfect. I just wanted to learn.

[shankle25]

Dude you live in portland right? i have been there many times, and chicks are EZ there. Give your self some credit. Most hot chicks have low self-esteem and just melt as someone had the nuts to ask them out. Be a jerk, it always works. ;D

[interzone]

Well there is a couple of chicks that I have wanted to ask out for real and their has also been some times when I knew if I just asked I would of scored the date, but I got scared. I figured by doing this and getting rejected would help me over come my fears. It did. It was actually funny the way it went down. After yesterdays rejection. (which I was smiling when I walked away) I felt like, man if I can take that, I can take anything. In a way, I think I was looking for the rejection more then anything. I actually set myself up to fail for a reason. It was the act itself that I was after.

I was at a trolley stop and finished my smoke and then walked up to this chick and said. "would you like to go out on a date with me next Saturday" She said, "I don't even know you" I smiled at her and said "I know" and she said, "um sorry" and I said "that's ok, I'm just trying new things" and as I was walking away, I heard others saying "THAT GUY WAS STUPID!" I was so happy. I never knew rejection could feel so good. It was knowing that I set out and made an accomplishment.

I lacked style. I had no short conversation, and I loved every second of it. Now the next time I'm faced with a situation where me and the lady I'm talking to is dropping hints, I feel like I'll have enough guts to ask, and not care about the rejection. ;D